Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
