I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
