i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
