is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
