Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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