that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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