i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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