Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
