I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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