Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
