i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
