Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
