tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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