How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
