It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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