In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
