Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
