Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
