covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
