Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
