maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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