I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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