There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
