used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
