You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
