Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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