but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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