Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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