This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do you remember whose house we're in?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize