i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
