i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
