He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
