mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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