I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This is classic penis vs brain.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
