Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
