I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
