whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We had to coat check the pizza.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
