Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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