Can Purell be used as lube?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
