I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize