the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
