After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
