Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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