That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
