If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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