Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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