Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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