if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
