i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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