There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
