Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
