what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize