if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
