Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
