I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
