oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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