I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
