5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Can I color on your dick again?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
