turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
