we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
