I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Don't make out with my wife yet
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
