first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
