i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
